Knitting Pretty

Sometime this week, I was pottering around the interwebs (you have to say that word in a funny voice because it is, really, quite silly) and somehow I managed to stumble upon a movie trailer for a live action version of Where The Wild Things Are, that wonderful book by Maurice Sendak. I think most people in the English speaking world have heard of this book, if not have actually read it.

WTWTA is a great book about an angry little boy named Max. He misbehaves - in some really cute ways, like growling at his mum - and gets sent to his room without any supper. When there,  Max manages to travel to an island - by boat - where the wild things are. He becomes their king in a sort of staring contest so then he gets to run around with them and have a generally good time. But soon he feels homesick so he sails home to his room, to find his supper all warm and waiting for him. It's a really good story to read, even the American President, Barack Obama, says it's one of his favourites! He read it out to a couple of thousand people at the White House Easter Egg Roll this year.

Something I like about the book is how well it works on multiple levels. The book clearly addresses anger in children, which I am happy about because the wonderful little people in our world feel the same range of emotions as us adults, but it is so much harder for them to undestand, and express themselves. Max's adventure in the books is delightful on the entirely superficial level also, and I am sure that children who read the book, whilst may not be aware of the psychoanalytic implications of the book, are still nonetheless affected by them.

If someone had asked me if this book would ever be made into a live action film, and if that film would be good, I would have said no, but honestly, the trailer looks amazing! There are a few sets of WTWTA toys out there, some are plush, and others more action figureish, but of course, I want to know about knitted ones! And yep, there is a knitted Wild Thing up on Ravelry and a pattern on its way, here is the link to where it will be posted,

I will preface this post by saying that that asthma attack was brought on by a cold, so if anything I write seems a little fever induced, it may well be.  So today I wanted to write about Cute. Cute is very important, today, because it has become more than just a favourable adjective to a full on worldwide movement. The movement of Cute. It has become a powerful tool for promoting good causes, advertising, self-expression, and many other good things that my flu-befuddled brain can't think of right now. I am a lover of Cute, I think it's good. I think if we are going to be bombarded to over-saturation point with anything, Cute isn't too bad a thing compared to a lot of other things. Seeing as I am all talking of Cute and whatnot, I thought I would post links to an abundance of Cute on the internet that I frequent regularly.

First off, Cute blogs! I visit I Can Has Cheezburger everyday, because there is always a lot of cute on there. I love cats, because they are warm, fuzzy, good to cuddle, and are very cute. My cats often smell of strange things, like sugar, or millipedes.  Okay sorry, that was me being ill. Back on track now.  I also visit Cute Overload on a daily basis. They have lots of Cute, that isn't just in kitty form. They also have Disaproving Rabbits, puppies, birds, and many other Cute creatures. Another place to drop by, more on a weekly basis, is ZooBorns, because, well, babies are cute, animals are cute, so baby animals must be very cute! The cuteness here can occasionally be almost painful, those little babies just trigger my cute nerves and my nurturing nerves so I just want to sit and hold them all and sing lullabies to them.

YouTube has a lot of Cute there too, so I will link some of my favourite Cute clips there. Maru is a fat cat from Japan, who is adorable, loves to belly-slide into boxes, and has a wonderfully round shaped head, you need to check this fatty out, he's adorable. By the way, Maru is the word for 'circle' or 'round' in Japanese, so he is an aptly named boy. Here you can find a rediculously cute kindle of kittens - yes, that is the actual collective noun for kittens - being cute. Watch those little bonces closely, because they are going to be adorable! My fiance especially likes the grey one, second from the right.  If you're in the mood for a little bit of odd Cute, try this video, which is the intro to a Korean cartoon called I Love Egg. Oh and here is the link to the Powerpuff Girls playing their song, Love Makes The World Go Round.

Now today's knitting pattern must absolutely be Cute, so I went off to look on Ravelry for Cute patterns. I found Bunny Nuggets. I have to knit these, I have to knit many of these.

When I was writing my last entry, I wanted a good Powerpuff Girls picture. In my search for one, I found this beautiful sketch by an artist I had never before heard of, Sarah Mensinga. So, I had to take a look around her blog, and all the art on there too!

I took a look over the old entries, I found an ongoing story called Dragon Girl. Over seventeen entries, this pretty little story plays out, to a conclusion that I really liked. It sort of reminds me of Love and Be Wise, a picture story book that I have had for a long time. I love the classic children's stories, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Beatrix Potter's work, and I also really appreciate the more post-modern stories that twist old tropes around. The Paperbag Princess works on this premise, as well as The Stinky Cheese Man.

It got me to thinking about my own dreams of writing. Sure I write here, but I have the tentative hope to one day write children's picture books. I have had a go at it, written my very first story, though I know it needs a lot of work. It's hard to know what will work and what won't, and I am loath to let many people read it. I mean, my fiance has read it, and a few others, but as I said, it is a long way from finished.

The idea of sitting for a while and just tapping a few lines out on my keyboard seems alright to me right now. I just had a asthma attack, so I am happy to sit down for a while. I never had asthma as a child, even with my mother smoking around me for my entire life. No, that developed in 2006 when I managed to pick up the flu six times in a row. I was coughing so hard I would cry, couldn't breath, and nearly vomit! I went to my doctor, she asked me three questions, and then told me I had asthma. It didn't really affect me all that much, except that I now had a wonderful little puffer that allowed me to breathe, but it has gotten worse of late. It just sucks - pun not intended - to not be able to breathe in deeply.

Alrighty, now I'm off to sit on the couch and watch TV for a while, a perfect activity - if you can call it that - for post-asthma-attack recuperation.

I have to say, I love a good cartoon. Among my absolute favourites is The Powerpuff Girls. So I figured, where better yack endlessly about PPG than here! I first noticed this cartoon when promos were being shown for it on Cartoon Network. I didn't have cable back then myself, but my aunt did, and I happened to see that the show was coming, but then didn't get to see it when it actually started. A year or so later, I happened to catch the show, and have thought it great ever since! I am going to go through some of my stand out episodes from the 80 that have been created.

In season one, there is an episode called 'Cat Man Do' where a really cute - seriously this cat is obsurdly cute - who is evil uses some form of mind control to have the Professor help it to steal a diamond and try to shoot Townsville with a lazer. When the cat is using it's claws to cut the class case housing the diamond, it is just so very, very cute, that this has always been a favorite episode.

Two episodes that go hand in hand as stand outs here, because the centre around the same amusing topic. The way Mojo Jojo talks. His redundant double-talk is hilarious, at times, and both these episodes really play on that. In Season two, there is an episode called 'Los Dos Mojos' Bubbles - my favourite character -  is hit on the head, and when she awakes, she believes she is Mojo Jojo. So she talks like him, steals his clothes, and has a confrontation with Mojo about who is really Mojo, with the both of them repeating themselves over and over. Mojo's adamant denials of speaking in this way is pretty funny, but honestly, it's Bubbles with her attempt at a sinister voice that really makes me giggle in this one. The other Mojo episode I was referring to is in Season six, called 'Mo' Linguish'. Mojo has been ordered to teach a class at a community collage, so he teaches his pupils, and eventually the entirety of Townsville, to talk like himself. I thought this was pretty damn funny, if at times somewhat irritating. I really liked the way they ended the episode, with Talking Dog teaching Mojo to speak properly. That's very much a giggle inducer for me.

The other PPG episode that has always been hilarious to me is actually the special 80th episode, 'Powerpuff Girls Rule!!!' which I personally thought was just awesome. I really laughed when Blossom detailed her plans to the other two about how to stop all the bad guys getting their hands on the 'Key to the World'. It was just so funny, a really tightly crafted episode, I thought. So there you have it, my favourite episodes! Now go watch some of the show, you won't regret it!

I recently found an absolutely adorable photo blog that happened to be linked on Cute Overload - one of my favorite cute sites. Well, this photo blog is now amongst my favorite cute sites too. It is called My Milk Toof and is done by an artist who puts together these gorgeous little stories involving a couple of baby teeth that have come back to her years after they left via being put under her pillow.

Two of the entries in particular have left an impression on me, in two separate ways. One, called Toof Cleaning, has left me childishly declaring 'Don't wanna' whenever I have to do something vaguely unpleasant. Though, proclaiming loudly through the house 'Don't wanna' actually helps me to get whatever I don't want to do done. Follow me there? By saying something so childish, and a little bit silly, I make myself giggle and feel just a little bit happier. So if I have to go and do dishes, and I announce that I 'Don't wanna' I feel much more amicable to just going and getting started.

The other post which has left an impression, I think mostly because I was already inclined towards this, is titled My Sweet Wilting Tree. In this one, Lardee - he's the sweet tooth, I think, because he's a little bigger than Ickle and likes sweet things - prescibes a rather sorry looking little plant some warm milk tea with lots of sugar. He also gives the little plant a warm blanket and sings to it. Yeah, that's almost painfully cute. Back to what I was saying, that whole sweet tea making you feel better thing really does work for me. If I am feeling a bit on the nauseous side, or a bit tired and grumpy, or whatever, sweet tea makes me feel better. So check out that blog, because it really is delightfully cute! 

Of course it is now time for today's pattern... I think we have to go with a tooth faerie pillow today, don't we? Yes, yes we do! So here is a cute little tooth pillow to knit up. But I think I would make this one with a cute little stitched on face on the front, too. I just think it would have more character that way.

I know I've mentioned this before, but here is again because I like saying it. I'm engaged.  Getting married with all that economic brouhaha going on may sound like a bad idea, unless of course, you are planning to elope. Which is exactly what we had decided to do years ago; being private people it always made sense to us. Now it makes even better sense!

There are still certain costs associated with our getting married, but mostly just revolving around the holiday we plan to take during that period. We will be eloping early next year, and with it being something I am really looking forward to, I am actually planning ahead of time.

I have a list of what I need to have organised, such as the paperwork for the marriage, the hotel reservation, the activities we plan to do on our holiday, find and buying the rings, and what all that will come to in the end so we have specific goal in mind for saving towards this. When I was planning this, I actually thought the very first thing to do was to get a joint savings account. We both already bank with Nationwide Building Society, so it made sense to get a savings account with them, which makes it extremely easy to transfer our savings in there when we get our pay each month. I think online banking is the best!

I am more than a little excited, really. I am having a great time thinking about having a day that we can spoil ourselves on, go and do anything we want, take in a show, visit places we have been meaning to visit for such a long time, and of course, best of all, finally being married to the man I love. 

Getting this all prepared truly is a labor of love, one that I am really excited to be in charge of, and really happy that we are doing it our own way! I am very much looking forward to our holiday too! 

Do you have a film that you put on and it just whisks you into an imaginative reverie? A film that makes you feel happy, peaceful, and emotional all at once? I absolutely do! For me, this film is My Neighbour Totoro. I saw this film only a few years ago, but it is one of those that just seem to fit right in with me.   This is a brilliant offering from the acclaimed animator  Hayao Miyazaki, who is probably more famous for Sprited Away - another awesome film - and Howl's Moving Castle.

I know that not everyone find Totoro as enchanting and joyus as I do; my fiance for instance finds it a little sad and depressing, because of the mother's illness. I understand that, but those aspects of the film draw back for me, what does stand forward and gains my attention is the forest, the spirits, and the Totoros. This celebration of life, from the exuberance of Mei, to the staunch Satsuke, to the giant  Camphor Laurel tree, and of course the larger than life Totoro is more than a little magical to me. It is uplifting to have the movie on, even if I am not actually watching it! 

I actually prefer to watch the film in English dubbing because I think Dokota and Elle Fanning did absolutely wonderful jobs with the voice acting. Elle as Mei couldn't be more perfect, she has such a wonderful little squealing voice that is a delight to listen to, and they work so very well together. There is a little video on You Tube of the English dubbing cast talking about their work on the film, and this really shows the wonderful rapport between the two little girls, and how that aspect of their personalities carries through the film. Also, I would like to travel by Catbus for the rest of my life! They have a real one (well, sort of)  in Nagasaki!

So if you haven't seen it, go and see it now! Right now! I have the DVD and you should too!  Now on to today's knitting pattern. I thought today's pattern has to be a Totoro of some sort. Now, this pattern is actually a toilet paper cover, but when I make it, which I will, it will be a stuffed toy.  

In my first blog, just last week, I mentioned that I like food... I like foods that I shouldn't really eat that much of, but still do anyway.  I currently have four candy obsessions... funnily enough, they are all from the same company.  I am going to go through why I like those particular ones right now, because what's the next best thing to eating candy? Talking about candy! Okay so I will outline my four current favorite candies, and then link to today's pattern! 

Blackcurrant Pastilles: These are lovely little soft - but still kind of hard - lollies with grains of sugar on the outside. I have always loved purple lollies, they have a great flavor, be it grape, blackcurrent, or blackberry.

Fabulicious Raspberry Twister: This is a fairly new one, for my candy repertoire, but I really like raspberry flavor, and I really like the squishy but tough thing going for these twists. Sort of like raspberry licorice, but a little chewier, I think.

Berry Tingles: These are quite difficult to find, and quite new out too. They are like your regular Fruit Tingles, but they are all berry flavored! I love berry flavors, and grape flavor too.

Longlasting Gobstopper: This is my absolute favorite candy currently. I love these things, they take you ages to eat, which is fun, and even the ones that I wouldn't normally like - the lemon flavored ones - are still nice! I love sitting there cracking away at a box of these, so tasty! I most like the green and purple ones, apple and grape flavored respectively, I think.

Today's pattern must absolutely reflect today's post! This is a free one, though you will need an account with Ravelry. Frankly, if you are a knitter, and you don't have a Ravelry log in... GET ONE!!!  It is a fabulous site, totally addictive, that allows you to browse through many, many, knitting patterns from all over the web, and all over the world. So here is a link to a cute little candy corsage. I haven't actually made this one myself, yet, but I am excited to give these a try.

It was at this point that she took to verbally abusing me for hours on end. She would scream, and I mean scream, until she was so hoarse, she could no longer talk. This took about two hours. She would scream at me that moving to this town was the only thing she had ever done for her, and that I couldn't give her that, that I was so selfish. She would tell me that the world didn't revolve around me, that I was a lazy bitch. That I did more around the house when I was five than I did when I was eleven. She did this in front of my friend, one day, and then drove a knife into the chopping block, telling me to get out.

My friend and I walked out of the house - her not even in shoes - and walked the three or so kilometers to my other aunts house, who my mother had of course had a falling out with. I called my mother some time later to tell her where I was, she was angry with me for going there, for letting them know of her dirty little secret. Oh they knew, my uncle would take me to a weekly youth group purely as a means to get me away from her for a few hours a week. Though everyone said it was 'because we needed time away from each other' ... 'we both had very strong personalities'.

That last line makes my stomach do a nauseating flip. Strong personality. Bollocks, that's what that is. When someone screams at you, for hours on end, the one person you have in the world, the one person who is supposed to protect, love, and nurture you... something happens inside. When she would do this, I wouldn't say anything, because on the few occasions that I did, she would use those few words against me over and over. When she did this, I became small inside. I became a shadow, a ghost. I was not whole, not real, not really there. This wasn't really happening... It was surreal... I put all this in a part of my brain, and let it sit there for a very long time.

The only person in this world who knows all of it is my fiance, the only person I trust to lay it all out before and see what really went on. It was abuse. Psychological and verbal abuse. When I finally stood up to her - with much encouragement from my fiance - the backlash was so extreme... she told me at one stage she wished I wasn't her daughter... I havne't spoken with her in about a year and a half, and haven't seen her for more like four.

Some days I forgive her, some days I can't even say out loud that I love her. I am still coming back from all this, and it stopped close to a decade ago. Some days I just want to cry and beat my hand on the ground, other days I feel at peace because I understand that she is a product of her own childhood.

Coming back from being so tiny inside, so unsafe, alone, is a lengthy process. It is a battle, with yourself, to let yourself grow. To not allow the past to dictate what happens in the future. It is hard, to rebuild that which was so felled when I was so young, but with love, warmth, and a sense of safety, it can and will be done.

I feel that something soft and warm is in order, for a pattern tonight, so here, have something nice to snuggle up with. ^-^

We are all different. We all handle each and every situation that life throws in our direction in unique ways. We all cope, handle, or buckle and break in our own, personal, way. Tonight I am a little down, so I will write of something sad.

When I was growing up, it was just my mother and I. No father in the picture, and my mother didn't have very good luck with men, so there wasn't really anyone else about. Oh she had friends, for a while, but they would come and go nearly with the seasons. She didn't keep friends, she was the black sheep of the family too, so they weren't close. The only person who stayed around was her sister, my beloved aunt, who lived about a ninety-minute drive away. They weren't really super close, either, because my mother didn't really respect her sister.

You see, my mother has rage issues. She had a very, very, awful childhood, and hasn't really processed it properly. She believes that her anger is a defense against all the ills of the world, that she is protected by being angry, she believes it makes her strong. With what she has been through, feeling like a victim is always close on her heels, and she uses anger as a way to keep that feeling at bay.

When I was very young, I was mostly safe from this rage. A few times she was violent with me, breaking wooden spoons over my backside when I had been naughty. She justifies this action to this day, saying she deliberately bought spoons that would break. She stopped, though, when I was four or five.

I suppose the rageful outbursts became directed towards me when I was about nine. It could be the most trivial of things, I had forgotten where I had placed my shoes, and she tore my room apart looking for them. Only to realise she had them all along in her own room. She didn't apologise, or help me right my room. She would become so enraged with me, should she ask something that I would have trouble doing. Finding some crafting items she kept in a cupboard, so she stormed in and got them herself, and shoved me against a wall with the craft items in my face, as if to show it wasn't difficult to find them.

When I was eleven or so, it became much worse. We moved a lot - she always made poor friendships that turned very nasty, so she fled from them - and at that point, we moved into a very run down horrid house, in a town I didn't care for. I hated it, I was so very unhappy. This made her very angry with me. Now mind you, I woulnd't change it at all, because it is in that town that I met my fiance, but at that point, I didn't know him, and I was not well liked in the area. I was short, fat, strange, shy, self-conscious, poor, and the daughter of someone the town assumed was a witch - of all things!? - and was generally an outcast. Her rageful outbursts at my school didn't help, either.