Knitting Pretty

We are all different. We all handle each and every situation that life throws in our direction in unique ways. We all cope, handle, or buckle and break in our own, personal, way. Tonight I am a little down, so I will write of something sad.

When I was growing up, it was just my mother and I. No father in the picture, and my mother didn't have very good luck with men, so there wasn't really anyone else about. Oh she had friends, for a while, but they would come and go nearly with the seasons. She didn't keep friends, she was the black sheep of the family too, so they weren't close. The only person who stayed around was her sister, my beloved aunt, who lived about a ninety-minute drive away. They weren't really super close, either, because my mother didn't really respect her sister.

You see, my mother has rage issues. She had a very, very, awful childhood, and hasn't really processed it properly. She believes that her anger is a defense against all the ills of the world, that she is protected by being angry, she believes it makes her strong. With what she has been through, feeling like a victim is always close on her heels, and she uses anger as a way to keep that feeling at bay.

When I was very young, I was mostly safe from this rage. A few times she was violent with me, breaking wooden spoons over my backside when I had been naughty. She justifies this action to this day, saying she deliberately bought spoons that would break. She stopped, though, when I was four or five.

I suppose the rageful outbursts became directed towards me when I was about nine. It could be the most trivial of things, I had forgotten where I had placed my shoes, and she tore my room apart looking for them. Only to realise she had them all along in her own room. She didn't apologise, or help me right my room. She would become so enraged with me, should she ask something that I would have trouble doing. Finding some crafting items she kept in a cupboard, so she stormed in and got them herself, and shoved me against a wall with the craft items in my face, as if to show it wasn't difficult to find them.

When I was eleven or so, it became much worse. We moved a lot - she always made poor friendships that turned very nasty, so she fled from them - and at that point, we moved into a very run down horrid house, in a town I didn't care for. I hated it, I was so very unhappy. This made her very angry with me. Now mind you, I woulnd't change it at all, because it is in that town that I met my fiance, but at that point, I didn't know him, and I was not well liked in the area. I was short, fat, strange, shy, self-conscious, poor, and the daughter of someone the town assumed was a witch - of all things!? - and was generally an outcast. Her rageful outbursts at my school didn't help, either.

Yesterday when I wrote my introduction post, I unbelivably forgot to mention that I have a love of the Natural World. I love being outside, in a forest, on a moor, on a mountain, in a tree, in a river... I am guessing you've gotten my point here. I also love strong weather, like high winds, lightning storms, and pelting rain. Trees are the real kicker, though, the real awesome, inspirational, uplifting place to be.

When you sit in a big old tree, you can't help but feel the age of it, and think of what it would have witnessed in it's vast time. I love to ponder that, to ponder how many bird families had lived in this one tree, all the forest animals that would have lived in it, or gained forage from it. I really do find that a quietly pleasing line of thought.

Tonight there happens to be some serious wind, where I am in the world, and it is wonderful! My fiance and I are quiet - so are the cats - so we can hear the wind swirling around our home. It is so wild out there, yet we are safe and snug in our house... it makes me want to go to bed and just look out the window at all the trees thrashing with each gust. It's beautiful, and compelling.

One of our cats, the little girl cat, is afraid of thunder storms. I always know when one is on it's way because she starts slinking around the house, hours before it starts. She is currently resting on the couch, so unfortunately for me, no hope of a thunder storm any time soon. The big boy cat doesn't seem to care in the slightest, though when it is windy like now he won't go outside.

Well, with such a nature bent in this post, I think today's pattern has to be something inspired by nature... and one of my favorite things too! Acorns! I love these little acorns. I have knitted one, but I want to knit many more and sew on little faces and call them moodacorns. Look out for them in the future!

Now I am going to go sit on my back step, with a hot cup of sweet tea, and listen to the wind. Goodnight. 

Good evening! This is my brand new blog. This is a new place for me to potter around (I am actually a Harry Potter fan, so that particular turn of phrase always makes me want to gigglesnort at myself... hehehehe) and share my creative outbursts. I have to, you see, I find that I just natter on at my fiance about all things craft related for much longer than is seemly. :)

I suppose I should introduce myself, shouldn't I? I'm Elle, the author of Knitting Pretty. Now I'll tell you a little about myself. I am engaged to the man of my dreams, who I live with in a snug little house with our two little cats. Along with reading, I love to knit, sew, and generally try my hand at any handcraft I come across. I'm a terrible mess when it comes to my craft areas though, so don't be overly bothered if some of my posts are craft related and others are entirely unrelated. I am also an avid lover of cartoons and anime. Good cartoons and anime, mind you, not those terrible CGI ones children have to deal with these days, no, I am talking of Powerpuff Girls, Ah My Goddess, Cowboy Bebop and Samurai Champloo.

With me being so crafty, it may come as no small surprise that I am currently at University studying to become a Web Designer. I adore building a website from the ground, well code actually, up. Seeing it take form, and become a live, useful medium.

Ah, and yet another defining characteristic about me... I love food! Occasionally I will post recipes, because let's face it, when can't you use another recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies? Never, that's when!

I will also be including a link to a knitting pattern with each of my posts, only free ones, though, so anyone can print them out and have a go. Today's pattern is actually meant to be knit now, and worn later. Pretty little gloves called Kingdom from over on Knitty.com I can't wait to give these a go myself, though I am an extraordinary procrastinator, so we will see.

So, as I said, a bit of a mess, really... I mean look at my first post there... I don't even stay on track for that! What hope have I for an entire blog of cohesive posts!? I have no hope, I give up now, prepare for me to ramble whenever I like. Much like a pet rabbit, you are never quite sure which way it is going to go, it can be still for a while, seemingly about to nap, but out of no where it is across the room and chomping on your wellies! Bye for now!